What do you think? Is it possible to forget someone you have met and have known, even for a short while, completely and entirely, as if he never existed on this Earth, in the same timeline, or even in the same universe as you do?
I have friends who have had broken hearts, and I listened to them, they told me the same thing, 'I want to forget.' I told myself the same thing, and eventually I came to a cold conclusion: I can never forget the person who I loved and broke my heart, not by choice, not even by my conscious mind.
We all have options. We can choose to forget on a conscious level. But what about our sub-conscious mind, one that is not within our conscious controls and reach? Memories are but just recorded events arranged on a timeline, because our mind remembers in a pattern of cutting out certain frame-of-time, but not wholly. Let's say, we have a machine that is capable of deleting our memories on the events that occurred between you and your past lovers. All you have to do is to just sign an agreement and let them hit the 'Delete' button. But have you really forgotten completely? Would you be reminded of her scent, like that first time when she walked gracefully past you? How about the food she loves, the Espresso that she drinks every morning, the little things in life, just norms but became significant to you at one point of your life?
I believe memories are recorded events but without feelings, because emotions stay on a different level, which is the subconscious mind. While the subconscious mind is the consciousness that has been rooted deep into us, never to be taken away. There aren't many things that can stay within us, only those that are true and real, beautiful and captivating, overwhelming and breathtaking. So why would you want to forget that, if it is that beautiful? I would have rather not to forget. It was because his existence was crucial and important at that time of my life. From time to time, I will be reminded of what happened to the past and us through my senses, from my surroundings, and events that occur which feel strikingly similar to those histories. Devastated I could be, only for a while, but the next moment I would feel extremely alive. Because my feelings were true, and that is the best feelings I can have for myself. And because everything that happened led me to today.
Forgetting your memories is by choice, but to love truly is not. How do you want to forget if you didn't choose to love at the first place?
Love is a beautiful feeling,
Shae
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