My journey on understanding love is my own and I have found great insight on it. I will like to share with you what I've found after countless hours of research and experimentation. Yes, I treated it like a science project but that is how I go about doing things. So here are some of the things that are interesting. I'll be sharing it from different points of view.
Biological, Psychological, Spiritual
For most love seems to be this grand thing that cannot be explained. I am part of that majority. But as I went on to find the meaning of love and to gain a deeper understanding of it I came across individuals who believed that is a biological, psychological and spiritual thing. I can't argue about that and I do actually agree to a certain level. So here are a few things on how we are biologically, psychologically attracted to one another.
Attraction between men and women
Attraction seems to play a part in this love thing. We tend to find our self drawn towards a certain individual. We develop a relationship with this certain individual, give a label and call that force love. So is that what love is??? Maybe. Well, attraction happens all the time to you and to me. We will find someone who we are specifically drawn towards and this comes with a desire to build a relationship and a future with this certain person. But why?
Science has lead us to know that we are build with a genetic based structure. Our genetics will lead to our features and lead towards being attracted to certain features. Like most living things we desire to procreate and would like our offspring to be the strongest possible in order to survive and procreate as well. So our mind has been build in such a way that we seek for the best mate for us. Biologically the features we seek often are those that have a healthy build. Men and women both seek healthy physical appearance as the 1st sign. Then the 2nd is the scent of the person. Research has found that through our sense of smell we can determine if our genes and the other persons gene will lead to a healthy baby. This usually is determined by the scent of the other person, whether is it delightful or frightful.
Now for psychological part. Other than what we have built inside us we also have something else that we have developed through the influences of our environment, society, community and family. The things we see on the tele, the things we hear from the people, they aid us in the development of our consciousness thus affecting what we would naturally prefer to what society would prefer. It is because we all want to fit in and find our place in our community. Now let us look into what men and women would find attractive. Men would be looking for women that other men would envy. Women would be looking for a man with status, money and looks like Brad Pitt. Well this all would be dependent on the social standards of that community. Like for example, the native tribes where I'm from namely the Orang Ulu would seek for a man with the most tattoos. Because the tattoos symbols for power, status and achievement. The more the tattoos, the better the man. Which is of course not exactly true for every case.
Now let us go into the Spiritual part. When I use the word 'spiritual' I use it as a synonym for our mentality. Our soul, mind, spirit, self, attitude, personality; in this context is interchangeable. Now that we've cleared that up lets begin. Physical attraction will fade, there is no question that we will all slowly degenerate and revert back to dust. But there is a part of us which, if taken care, of will mature like wine. The older the better. This thing is our spirit. This words for men and women universally. Men will find women who are compassionate and adventurous universally attractive. Compassionate meaning nurturing, able to take care of his feelings and also a child. It also includes the ideals of a man for what he dreams of is his child and if you can't nurture that then you will be unattractive. Adventurous meaning open to experiences. Now, if a women is nurturing and compassionate but denies sex then the attraction level drops to -100%. Men already has a mother so in that case he'll pass. But you can't have too much of both, you gotta balance. Now for women, they find men who are steady and humorous the most attractive. Steady as in like a tree, deeply and firmly rooted to the ground. Is there for her whenever she needs him. Not easily swayed by the troubles and always the place for shelter. Humorous because women are like stress buttons. It is found that women have a lower threshold for pain are more likely to be stressed out than men.(Its the hormone thing) So a man must be able to set of stress by making her laugh. Just think back the last time you heard a girl saying that she doesn't like a funny guy. It was like, never ago! So men are these steady trees and women are like that breezy wind. Blowing about on the leaves, changing his hairstyle, changing his clothes, changing his eating habits.
Love is abstract
So after many hours of research I found that love will represent differently for every single individual. Love is that something and your very own something. Although we might share this love but to me its you and to you its me. That is still not for sure. Because as much as I love you, I'm on a diet and that chocolate coated, sugary glazed, durian cream filled cream puff seems very lovely at the moment.
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