A year

It has been one year and a few days since any of us wrote here. One year sounded long, but I couldn't recall much of any events that was recorded in my life history. But I remember the last five days of November and few of the scenes from last Valentines.

My baby,

A dispute that cracked a few days ago and our separation forced me into many thoughts. Because I can sit to myself with thoughts, because you are not here with me, that I sunk myself into my own world. At this hour, at this place, I felt at ease and peaceful, even if my thoughts are loud and they yell at me right before my sleep hour. I guess, this is the right time, time for reflection.

A year has passed and I can't seem to bring myself to remember some of the important things and dates. You reminded me always with those because you are better at these. I have always been forgetful, since you knew me. I feel bad for letting you to remind me the 12th of every month, but maybe, a sense of overwhelming familiarity tells me not to worry about it. I soon let it go, and told myself that it is okay.

A year has passed and we grew more familiar of each other's dirty habits; you picking your nose, me loving sitting with my legs wide opened. We grew familiar to each other's favorite things; you with you coffee addiction, and me with my cheese buffet. We grew familiar to each other's teases. We grew familiar to so many things.

Familiarity, is one thing that you crave at the start of a relationship. It is also one thing that helps you overlook most things at one point of that relationship. When things become a nature, you overlook the degree of importance because everything is taken lightly for granted.

I remember last year's Valentines when I feel super excited and nervous about the gift I made you. But what about this year? ... There was nothing. Instead, I felt a tinge of jealousy and envy when I scrolled through my Facebook newsfeed, seeing those ladies showing off their roses, perfect gifts and unbeatable dinner. Jealousy didn't taste good. It was sour. I thought, it was only normal that I would be receiving gifts. I thought, it was only normal to feel appreciated. I thought of many things that you haven't done and you could have done. But familiarity, it failed to take me to myself. I didn't see what I haven't and could have done for you. I could have surprised you with a plan... I could have made you dinner... I could have, but I didn't, because I am too familiar with you.

...

Now is familiarity a good thing, because I'm not too sure about it. Or maybe I have just gotten rotten in the inside, blinded by my own self and ego, blinded by the material world.